im going to start ranting in nonsensical language. right. like i will do that even though im at home.
anyways! my hair's screwed and im feeling kinda depressed and sad. i don't know why. i think its just my hair but deep down inside, i know its because i like `you. ah sighs!

i know. you must be thinking, she was just saying that we're all falling in love becuase of our empty vessels and what is she doing now?! JUST TO EXPLAIN: i know God's in my heart but falling in love/like is total humane. =) so im human. =)

anyways, let my complain! haha. hmmm. i like `you because `you were really nice and sweet to me. really hilarious, not to mention. i thought, maybe, just maybe, you could be that special one. after that day, i just knew it. it just slapped me in the face. i felt so down so cold inside despite the fact that my face was laughing or playing along. it was so so so hurtful. its like deja vu.
nooneilikewilleverbetheoneforme.
i keep hurtingmyself. i don't know why. its just so sad, so so so sad. well, i guess im the world biggest loser and joker. your presence is so impactful. i just don't know what to say. really. i just lost all sense of hope again. after the first falling in serious like, i totally went into sub depression. the hurts are resurfacing. love may never be possible in my life cause of all the broken pieces in my heart.

i shall type the model answer thing in another entry. im too un-focus to focus on anything.

hellos!!
well, today was rather eventful. i fell ill and didn't attend church service. woke up later and went to church for outreach meeting. fruitful but half of my soul wasn't there and my face was VERY pale (according toEugene, my godson.) super larthagic. i nearly died. really. i was so dead tired to that extent. haha. my parents then dragged me to tp to eat and i waited SO DARN LONG. i got so pissed off. ah wells. went home after that and slept til 4.30. was nearly late for work but God was good. i asked Bryan to help me clock in. was the runner today. super fun. couple of orders screwed up. my bad. =( sighs. that's for being imperfect. haha.

anyways, have been thinking a lot on the BGR stuff. well, i guess that an empty vaccum, our heart, needs a constant feel. thus, a need for someone to sastify our hearts. but if say, there's nothing for us to love anymore. how then, can we fill in this vaccum?

excellent question to ponder right? i will type my model answer in my next post. til then, kudos!


i think i like you.
i think i really do.
but do you like me?
i really don't know.
i wish that there was some way to know what you are thinking.
i really want to know,
deep deep inside,
what do you really feel for me?

hello to those who reads my wonderfully lonesome blog. =D
okay. although i don't know who exactly reads it, but ah heck! who cares? im writing to pour out my feels and deals of the day. =)

woked up at about 0830 odd. slacked around, then read the Bible. i learnt some really cool stuff about God. He had so many rules and regulations on burnt offerings, cleaniness of His people and ALOT of other stuff. i think that He really meant business cause He literally cut off the people who didn't obey Him. wow. im so glad that im not living in the old testements time cause i'lll definitely had been one of those cut-ted off people. *shivers*

i left for work about.. say.. 1040? reached there early again. its either i reach there early or late, so i think early sounds better. =D people who was there : sanda, cheryl lim, jasmine(new girl working), wilson, sng, sin, ah bang, ronnie, rico, ah thum, steve, cheryl ng and shirley. including secong shift people. i worked full day today as my FIRST full day shift. haha. ronnie was being the crazy fart again. haha. quite fun, except at night, i was too tired, so i kinda didn't felt too good. kinda blasted at shane. *oops.* =S.

work at night was crazy! customers kept on coming. good for sales but not the people working. haha.

im going to write in random short spastic sentences cause my brain and hand co-ordiantion is not together-ed. haha

anyways. i think i shall stop here. can't stand it. brain's dead totally.

hey!
came back not too long ago from town. work was rather boring today. my shift only had me, wilson, cheryl, rico, zin, ah bang, steve and sng. zin as usual, the crazy person. what did i do in work today.. let's see. i reached ambush at 1130, a record of half an hour earlier. that's crazy i thought usually would take like super long to reach but all the trains that i took came super early. by the Grace of God again. =D. uniform was in a totally crumpled form. when i reached, zin was cutting some veg.then, we talked via a glass panel. cool eh? supposed to left with zin but in the end didn't, which i will explain later.then, did cashiering today. keyed in or rather sent a takeaway order and it couldn't be retrived. my mistake i guess. *shrugs* rather slack today cause i was pretty bushed.after when my shift ended, i ate bacon and ham, linguinie with aglio olio sautee. it was one of the bestest pasta combination besides vongole aglio olio. haha. ate and leong kept disturbing me. ronnie also. this two guys are hilarious. oh yes. leong looks like some hk/taiwn actor person called xiao zhu, which direct translation to english would mean small pig. quite funny right? haha. anyways, leong kop-ped my aglio olio soup thing. always kop-ping food. haha. kop-ped/kop-ping means steal or to take without/with permission, whichever definition that fits the usage of content. left with wilson. wilson went home and i went to meet my mom, which explains why i did not leave with zin. went to wisma atrium to look for her, after which we left to CK Tang. earrings were sold at 70 per pair! crazy pricing!!! my mum guessed that a pair of liz clairbore earrings were 15 bucks which in actually fact 99.80 dollars. haha. random madness.

anyways, im currently not in a too good mood cause im being forced to study. i mean i will study when i know i have to. but now? its just crazy! i can't focus on it. random crap man. sighs!!!

love is forever,
like is momentarily.
when you say you love me, will it last forever?
if it will not, tell me you like me.


i'd love to love you forever,
but it seems that we're not meant to be.
let's save the hurts and the partition of one.
though it may hurt now,
let it be.

i'd rather you fall for someone who truly belongs to you.

hello!
this is one of many blogspot blogs cause i simply cannot remember my past blog urls/login name/whatever it is. =D.
anyways! i've started work for a couple of weeks. things have been going rather okay. people's been exceedingly funny and helpful. =) really thankful for this job. it was really granted by faith caused i just like ate there and my grandma asked me whether i wanted a job there. pretty cool eh? =)
alrights. today. what happened... played pool with vincent, yao, charlotte and ken(if i did not remember their names wrongly).as usual, im the poorest player there.i suck sometimes, i realised. haha. that's for being imperfect. it was fun. ate at pizza hut with vincent and ken. then, 2 other of vincent friends came.went with them to town. vincent and friends went to buy tickets for SKY HIGH. my goodnesses. SKY HIGH. *no comments*(no offense!!)then, we went to heeren. i bought my new slippers!! love it. i think it has that romanian feel with the gladiator style. haha. really really am in love with it! =D left after that cause they went to watch their movie. came home, played with my cousin. he's really funny but there's something serious going on in his life and he needs help from God. anyways, studied my social studies. completed the education part. re-read it so many times til i got so bored. left to my other house to watch some hk series show. back home now typing crap away. haha.
happenings in my life tomorrow: work from 12-5, proabaly meeting my mum AGAIN.['ve been spending a lot of time with her]

i always think that i've fallen in love with someone who likes me, but in actual fact, its just reciprocated like. no substance, zero.
i want to fall in love with someone that i know why i like him for.