well, i guess our class is getting together much more now. i suppose this will make the parting even harder. its not that im not gonna participate because of that but, i just wish we could really have a year together.. 6 months come and go like that. its hard to say goodbye. even right now.



and then to me, well, i've been thinking about us very much. i know you have this mental problem and all. you're fine when you're awake. its just that last night scared me so much. i didn't know how to control you anymore. it was like scary, for the first time because i knew what it was already.... i love you a lot. i cannot let you go yet. but somehow, its like you are already pushing me to the edge gradually. you told me that i should let go of you now because its coming back and you don't want to end like your ex. then who? you told me you're gonna work hard and marry me.. what is going to happen to this promise when you're pushing me away already. i know it. i can feel it. you can't be saying all this for no reason. you know it inside you. that was exactly how you treated your ex before you guys splitted. i don't know. i just don't understand.



i can't fanthom how will this end. i really wanna let go of you, my love, my life, my family, my studies and my friends. its just that... i don't know. i really don't know who i should talk to anymore. she's not that same girl anymore.. she's so... distant.. so guy orientated. ya. i know she is still there when we go to school together and all but its more of like because she needs a company and someone to hear all her shit. who is gonna hear mine? maybe it is like.. a new chapter, a new beginning. i don't know.. i can just cry now. but, im saving my tears. saving it for another day. im too tired to let any tear out. well, if you never read this, even better. i don't want you too. im just reflecting our r/s a lot these days. i don't know. you're never there anymore. you're not even there when i need you anymore.











seriously, where are you?