AUZZIE says (2:27 AM):
It's just that, instead of being sad about it,
i want to spend every remaining moments with you laughing and happy


AUZZIE says (2:28 AM):
But, the fact is that i am suppose to go.
Since i can't change that, then i live with it.



so tell me, am i to sleep with tears every night?
and tell me, how do i find a reason to smile?
but tell me, who am i to lean on while you're gone?

i've cried at least once ever since i've been back from bkk. my mind cannot leave the idea of you leaving alone. everytime im alone, i find myself thinking about you leaving again and again. i thought i was stronger, but now i know im wrong. who's gonna protect me when you're gone? you tell me you would be here to protect me when im afraid. however now that you're leaving, i've to fend for myself again. you tell me not to put up such a strong front and i let my front falter. i've grown to dependant on you now that im relying on you to make me feel safe. but now i've to garner my strength again to protect people who will hurt me along the way. i hate being weak and you know that. i hate the life that i used to lead and you know that. just when i thought that i can love you forever, my heart is crushed again. you know, a lot of people make ldr look so damn fucking easy but it's not even though you're leaving tomorrow but im crying like you're leaving the next minute.

i need to find my strength and myself back.